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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26339131">Beautiful Little Disasters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwriter84/pseuds/Ghostwriter84'>Ghostwriter84</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Killing Eve (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Beaches, Disasters, F/F, Florida, Hospitals, Iguanas, KE Week 2020, Marriage Proposal, Spike - Freeform, Vacation, man-o-wars, vacation from hell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:21:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26339131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwriter84/pseuds/Ghostwriter84</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eve and Villanelle have fought many battles together and overcame them with flying colors. But will a vacation from hell be the breaking point of these women or will it only bring them closer in the end. </p><p> </p><p>KE Week 2020<br/>Day #6 - Domesticity</p><p>Trigger warning- Hospitals, vulgar language</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Killing Eve Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Beautiful Little Disasters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry for the late submission, work school, life blah blah. Hope you enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Eve and Villanelle have been through a lot in their short time together. One had been stabbed, the other shot, and that was just by each other. One as lost her entire wardrobe, while the other lost two jobs, a husband and a best friend. But the only thing that mattered was that the duo found each other. They were able to bring down a super-criminal organization. They could face anything, or at least they thought they could. That was until they came across their biggest foe, Florida.</p><p>Eve had thought that a week in the sun might do her girlfriend some good. The trip over was uneventful. It wasn’t until they landed that they found out that Eve’s suitcase was missing. Eve was pissed, but Villanelle was ecstatic because that meant she and Eve could go on a shopping spree. She could get Eve some clothes that would accentuate the curves that she knows that Eve has. As they walk out of the boutique, Eve gets a wolf whistle.</p><p>“I guess I do look good.”</p><p>“No, baby, you look sexy,” Villanelle says as she pulls her girlfriend in and dips her as she kisses her.</p><p> “Get a room, you two!” A bystander screams as he passes. Villanelle and Eve smile as they pull away.</p><p>FLORIDA 1- VILLANELLE</p><p>They hop in their rented convertible and are driving to their rented home for the next week. It was right off the ocean. A little shanty that did not match the photo that was on the webpage. They walked inside and were met by a colossal iguana in the middle of the kitchen table.</p><p>"Eve! Don’t move. There is a dinosaur on the table.” She says, holding Eve back.</p><p>“Honey, it’s just an iguana.”</p><p>“Is it going to eat me?”</p><p>“Haha, no, but they can be aggressive, so we just need to get it out of here. Just watch out for its tail. You get close to it, and it will whip you with it. Trust me, it hurts. I had been down in the Virgin Islands back in college with some friends, and we had been drinking, and I decided I wanted to pet one. Well, needless to say, I found out the hard way. It snapped me and then chased after me. I ran as hard as I could away from it, but because I was looking back, I didn’t see the giant sign in front of me. I ran right into the sign. Ironically, the sign said DO NOT TOUCH IGUANAS. I broke my nose and had two black eyes for the rest of the trip.”</p><p>“BAHAHAHAHA, aww my poor baby. I always wondered why your nose was crooked.” Villanelle says as she goes to hug Eve.</p><p>“My nose is not crooked, Villanelle!”</p><p>The iguana staring at the women hiss at them.</p><p>“That thing hissed at us.”</p><p>“We just have to scare it out. Go outside and see if there is a hose Villanelle."</p><p>Villanelle did as she was told and grabbed the hose coming from the opposite door. Eve went and opened the screen door. She went back to the kitchen sink and grabbed the sprayer.</p><p>“Okay, on the count of three spray that thing with water out the door.”</p><p>“This doesn’t sound like a good idea, Eve.”</p><p>“What other choice do we have?”</p><p>“How about a hotel, or maybe animal control?”</p><p>“We paid for this. Let's just wait for its outcome.  1…..2……..3…….Spray”</p><p>Villanelle made a direct hit to the iguana, causing it to jump off the table and hiss. The iguana then stared Eve down.</p><p>“Shit, I have seen that look before.” As soon as she said the words, the iguana came at her full speed. He waddled ran towards her, and she ran again for her life.</p><p>“Ahhhhh, Oh my God, Eve! Watch out for that door!”</p><p>Eve hit the cabinet door, which such fury that she tore the door off the hinges, landing back on her back, managing to taking the door with her.</p><p>“Fuckk!”</p><p>“Eve, are you okay?”</p><p>Eve brings her hand to her nose, and it is gushing blood. “I broke my fucking nose again! Damn it, stupid iguana!”</p><p>Villanelle moved over towards Eve and hit the iguana again with the water. It turns around and runs out the opened screen door. Villanelle runs to the screen door and closes it. She runs to the back door and the hose out the door and comes back to Eve.  Who is now sitting up with a towel against it?</p><p>“Let me look,” Villanelle says to her girlfriend. Villanelle looks at Eve’s deformed nose, and without telling or preparing Eve, she resets it as quickly as Eve broke it.</p><p>“Ouch, what the fuck, V!”</p><p>“Rude! Eve. You’re welcome would be nice.” She says with a smile.</p><p>“Thank you.” She said. She went to go and kiss Villanelle but smacked her nose against Villanelle.</p><p>Villanelle would have to get creative when it came to kissing her girlfriend.</p><p>FLORIDA  2 -VILLANEVE 0</p><p>The next morning it was decided that the women would take a beautiful walk to watch the sunrise. They approached the beach just before sunrise and sat down on the sand. The romantic mood hit the woman, and they were kissing in the sand.</p><p>"No one is around us, Eve. Want to go skinny dipping?</p><p>“Absolutely, you naked in the ocean, mmm” Eve pulls her into a kiss.</p><p>Villanelle pushes her off and then strips down, diving into the water. Eve follows suit. The moon is switching sides with the sun. The women are swimming in the water, and Eve grabs her love and pulls her close and tight. They are kissing as the sun comes up. At first light, the woman breaks apart, and they look at the sun and then continue to kiss. Only being broken up when Villanelle gets hit with an immense shock of pain. It felt like her body had gotten hit by electricity.</p><p>“Eve, get out of the water now.”  Eve swims to the shore, and Villanelle soon follows.</p><p>As Villanelle gets out of the water, she notices redness on her side and on her ankle. Her skin in that area feels like it is on fire.  She looks at the shore, and there are what seems to be bluish white air sacks with blue tentacles all over the shoreline. Damn Jellyfish! Eve quickly gets dressed and meets Villanelle with her clothes.</p><p>“It burns Eve!”</p><p>“I know, baby.”</p><p>“What do we do to make it stop?”</p><p>“Isn’t pee supposed to stop the burn?” Eve says</p><p>“I'm all about your fluids, baby, but you’re not peeing on me.”</p><p>“Even if it means burning will stop?”</p><p>“Fine” Eve lowers her pants and squats to go and pee on Villanelle’s ankle.</p><p>“I can’t believe that I am going to let you pee on me,” Villanelle says.  She grabs her phone to look up the type of jellyfish. It isn’t a jellyfish at all. It’s a man-o-war.   Just as Eve is about to pee on, Villanelle pulls her leg out from a squatting Eve.</p><p>“OMG Eve Pee does nothing for a man-o-war sting. We need vinegar and hot water! I cannot believe that I was going to let you pee on my leg!”</p><p>“Fine then, let’s get back to the house and get some vinegar on it. Then I’ll draw you a hot bath.”</p><p>The women get back to the house and open the screen door to enter the house.  Eve screams, and Villanelle nearly collapses in laughter. Sitting on the kitchen table is the iguana.</p><p>“I think that he is going to become our pet Eve. We should think of a name for him at this point.”</p><p>"Hell no! Get him out.” Eve went to the bathroom and started the bath. She put the water on as hot as it could go and got it ready for Villanelle. She went back into the kitchen, and the iguana and Villanelle were gone. She pulled out the vinegar and waited for Villanelle to come back. The screen door slammed, and V returned.</p><p>“He is actually quite cute, you know. I named him.”</p><p>“I don’t wanna know if you name something you get attached, and I am hoping I never see that thing again.</p><p>Eve cares for Villanelle’s stings with the vinegar, and then Villanelle sits in the hot tub for an hour.</p><p>"They say that this is the best remedy for it, so we shall see,” Eve says</p><p>“It is feeling quite a bit better, thank you.”</p><p>Eve leans in to give her girlfriend a kiss when Villanelle pulls her entirely in the tub with her.</p><p>“This is better.”</p><p>Florida 4- Villaneve 0</p><p>The next day was relaxing. The women avoided the area of beach where the man-o-wars infested the shoreline and had gone down to the shore and decided they wanted to fish for a little. Villanelle used the fishing hooks and rod that were in the beach house, and they took off on their adventure.</p><p>“Given everything that has happened to us, V, I think it is a horrible idea for us to be fishing. We should be fisting instead!  Especially given with our luck, we will catch a baby great white, and you’ll try to take it off the line, and it will bite your hand off, and then my little assassin will only have one hand and trust me for my sake, you need both hands.” Eve says with a wink.</p><p>Eve, stop being so dramatic. Nothing is going to happen; it's okay.”</p><p>Villanelle fished all afternoon, barely catching any fish at all. Eve was there to tan while Villanelle wanted to fish. Villanelle had laid her pole down and decided she was going to rest for a while. She nodded off to sleep. When she woke up, it looked like it was about to start storming. She and Eve went to go run back to the house. The first step that Villanelle took, she stepped down and felt something in her foot. She looked down, and slow the hook was in her foot.</p><p>“Fucking A Eve.”</p><p>“What’s wrong.”</p><p>“I stepped on a hook, which is now in my foot. Cut the line, so it's not dragging, please.”</p><p>Eve looks at her and smiles.</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I know what you are thinking.”</p><p>“What is that?”</p><p>“I told you this would happen.”</p><p>“Baby, technically, I said a great white would bite your hand off. If you lose your foot, that is completely different.”</p><p>“You are right; we should have been fisting.” Villanelle agrees.</p><p>Eve cuts the line and carries the rod in one hand and helps Villanelle back to the beach house.</p><p>Once there, Eve drops the fishing rod at the door and opens the screen door.</p><p>“Damn it! “she screams! “How the hell does he keep getting in” Sitting on the kitchen table is the iguana.</p><p>Smiles and goes to the refrigerator and pulls out some lettuce from it, and lays it does in a line out the door. “Come on, Spike, Eve fears you, and she doesn’t want you to be in here. I, for one, think you are absolutely adorable, but she won’t let me take you home.” She says as she walks out the door with the iguana is tow.</p><p>Villanelle returns. Hey Eve, can you just pull it out, please. Eve pulls up a chair and embedded in her heel is the fishing hook. She goes and grabs a piece of line, and she lines it up.</p><p>“Are you ready.”</p><p>“Yes,” replied Villanelle.</p><p>“1….2” Eve pulled it out on 2. “V, when was your last tetanus shot?”</p><p>“When I was stabbed by someone.”</p><p>“Okay, it should be good then.”</p><p>“Thank you, Eve. “</p><p>Eve finishes the first aid to her first, puts some antibiotic cream on it, and then wraps it.  They had sat on the couch and were wanting to watch a movie. They had decided on <em>Sweet Home Alabama</em></p><p>“I’ve had a crush on Reese Witherspoon since she was in <em>Cruel Intentions.</em> She was hot in that,” Villanelle admitted to Eve.  “But don’t worry, you are way sexier.”</p><p>Eve had made popcorn, and the women sat on the couch watching the movie. Villanelle laid her head in Eve’s lap, and Eve would stroke her hair. Throughout the movie, Villanelle would shift and try kissing Eve. They’d kiss for a while, and then Eve would want to get back to the movie. Halfway through the movie, the power shut off.</p><p>“Yes! Villanelle said. “Finally, you can pay attention to me.” She pulls Eve into her arms and brings her to their bed and lays her on the bed. I think we should spend the rest of our vacation in this bed away from the elements outside. So neither one of us gets hurt anymore.”</p><p>“I’m fine with that.” Eve retorted. Eve pulls her back and starts kissing her. They had gotten each other out of their clothes. They had been going at it most the night, and Villanelle was currently eating Eve out.</p><p>“Fuck Villanelle, I’m about to come.” As Eve comes there is a crack and a rush of water. Villanelle is surprised.</p><p>“Oh my god, I know I’m good, but I think you squirted all over me, Eve. The bed is soaked you are soaked, I’m soaked.”</p><p>“V… the fucking roof collapsed.”</p><p>“I just thought I had some mad skills.”</p><p>“Your good, just not that good, sweetie.”</p><p>“I’m done with the shanty" Eve said. "I want to go to a luxury hotel now. I’m soaked and not the good kind.”</p><p>As quickly as they can, the women pack up their car. As Eve is walking out, she spots Spike perched on his kitchen table.</p><p>“What the fuck Spike how…. You know what good luck.”</p><p>“Bye, Spike, I’ll miss you,” Villanelle calls from the porch.</p><p>Florida 7 – Villaneve 0</p><p>With that, the woman drives away, leaving the nightmare of a shanty, and they go on to the most luxurious hotel that they can find.  The next morning the woman awake to find each other naked in bed.</p><p>“This is so much better,” said Eve as she pulled Villanelle into her arms. “Please don’t make me leave this bed.”</p><p> Villanelle gets an alert on her phone. She looks over and grabs her phone and reads it, and she has a blank stare at Eve.</p><p>“Umm”</p><p>“What? What now?</p><p>“Get dressed, Eve.”</p><p>They do, and Villanelle takes Eve by the hand, and they go down to the beach on property. They sit there in the sand  (making sure no man-o-wars were around)</p><p>“So Konstantin just texted, and apparently there is a hurricane headed towards us. So he changed our flights to come back early.”</p><p>“This is officially the worst vacation ever.”</p><p>“I didn’t think it was so bad. So we got a little bruised and battered. We have seen worse, yea? We grew closer. I have found out you have a totally irrational fear of iguanas.”</p><p>“I learned you don’t pee on man-o-war stings.”</p><p>“I have learned that I can make you squirt and really hard too.”</p><p>“Again, that was the roof collapsing.”</p><p>“Eve, if we can fair this disaster of a vacation together and come out of it on top, I think that we can literally do anything together, don’t you?”</p><p>“Yea, I suppose.”</p><p>Eve grabs Villanelle’s arm and interlocks it.</p><p>“Marry Me, Eve.”</p><p>Eve looks over at her.</p><p>“I had a much more romantic proposal planned out, but Hurricane Bertha out there is really putting a kink in my style,” Villanelle says. After saying this, an iguana crosses in front of them. It sticks tongue out and hisses at the women and then carried on its way.</p><p>“I miss Spike,” Villanelle says, leaning over and kissing Eve.</p><p>“We are not getting an iguana. V.”</p><p>“How about a dog then?” Villanelle challenges with a smile.</p><p>“You know on second thought, this vacation really isn’t looking that bad. Each one of these beautiful little disasters has created lasting memories. Memories are what I want to make with you forever, Villanelle, so yes, I’ll marry you, Villanelle. Just promise me one thing.”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“We never come back to Florida again.”</p><p>“NEVER AGAIN”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Luck continues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Freshly home from their vacation it seems like their brush with bad luck has followed them home</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Want to say a huge thank you for the people who encouraged me to write this piece. I will forever be indebted to your kind words and encouragement and know it will never be forgotten.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Eve and Villanelle returned from their ill-fated Florida trip, it seemed that their bad luck followed them. It did not matter to the women. After so long, they were finally engaged to be married, albeit Villanelle was not happy at the way that the proposal happened, she knew what she was going to do.</p><p>                It had been two weeks since they had returned from Florida. Villanelle had been home all day from work, not feeling well, but she wanted to make this day memorable for Eve, so she powered through.  Eve had come home from work a little early at the request of Villanelle. </p><p>                “V?” Eve went into the bedroom and found a sexy dress lying at the end of the bed, with a note alongside it, reading.</p><p>
  <em>Put this dress on, then meet me in the backyard.</em>
</p><p>                Eve did as she was told. She went outside and was met by her own personal tropical paradise. Villanelle had literally turned their backyard into a beach. As Eve walked out to the makeshift beach, music turned on, and she saw Villanelle facing the pool. V was wearing an equally fabulous dress that hugged her curves.  She looked in the corner and saw a building that looked like their rented shanty.</p><p> She walked up to V and put her hand on her shoulder, and V turned around. As she did, Eve stumbled backward, tripping over the pool chair behind her.</p><p>                “Jesus V, is that fucking Spike?”</p><p>                “I knew that you had fallen head over heels for me, Eve, I just never thought I’d actually see it happen.”</p><p>                “Shut up and help me up.”</p><p>                Villanelle put Spike down and helped Eve up.</p><p>                “You look beautiful tonight, Eve.”</p><p>                “Don’t butter me up cause you know you are in trouble.”</p><p>                “I’m not. But you could spank me if you wanted to.” She winks at Eve. “You look absolutely ravishing,” Villanelle says as she licks her lips.</p><p>                She pulls her in for a kiss when Eve feels a cold sensation between her legs, and she pushes Villanelle back, causing Villanelle to fall backward into the pool. Eve looks down at her fiancé and can’t help but laugh, to the point where she is wheezing.</p><p>                “Oh my God, V! I am sooooo sorry. You looked like a drowned rat.”</p><p>                “I’m so glad that you think this is funny, Eve. We are keeping Spike.”</p><p>                “He is starting to grow on me. So maybe”</p><p>                “I’ll take that.”</p><p>                Eve gives her hand to help V out of the pool when V yanks her forward into the pool. Eve flips over V into the pool.</p><p>                “You looked too hot to be out of the water,” Villanelle says to Eve</p><p>                Eve splashes her and then dunks her under the water.</p><p>                Villanelle comes up from under the water and smiles at Eve. She goes in to kiss her when she runs to the closest bush and retches. Spike scurries away from Villanelle, hissing at Eve as he passes by her. <br/>                “Fuck you too, Spike,” Eve says, sticking her tongue out at demon dinosaur.</p><p>                Eve gets out of the pool and goes and rubs Villanelle’s back.</p><p>                “I knocked you up, huh?” she says with a smile.</p><p>                Villanelle looks over at her then quickly starts up again in the bush.</p><p>                Eve loads her in the car, and then they head off to the hospital.</p><p>                When they arrived at the hospital, they were met by friendly staff. They essentially said that Villanelle was severely dehydrated, and she was battling a stomach bug. They suggested that she stay the night so that she could get fluids and medications that she needs to get better. She didn’t want to stay, but Eve was able to convince her only by promising to be on the phone with her all night if need be.</p><p>                “Eve, are you there?”</p><p>                “Yes, V, I told you I’d stay on the phone all night.”</p><p>                “I’m trying to sleep, but there are all sorts of noises coming from my roommate.” Villanelle whispers.</p><p>                “Relax, babe.”</p><p>                “It's hard to when I’m here, and you are at home comfortable in our bed. I really am feeling better. I can come home now.”</p><p>                “Your feeling better because you’re getting the fluids and medication you need. Stay the night and come home tomorrow, and we can spend all day in bed.”</p><p>                “Do you promise?”</p><p>                “Yes.”</p><p>                Villanelle had fallen asleep shortly after to wake up to an old lady standing over her. Villanelle screams and presses the nurses' button. The nurse runs in.</p><p>                “Margie! How many times do I have to tell you to stay in your bed.”</p><p>                “Not gonna  lie next time Margie is over my bed when I wake up, she is gonna get throat punched.”</p><p>                “Villanelle behave,” Eve said through her earbud.</p><p>                “It was scary, babe. My demented roommate hanging over me, she could have suffocated me. Do you remember the last demented woman I had to deal with? Besides, the only person I want suffocating me is you.” The nurse looks over at her from beyond the curtain, and Villanelle smiles back at her and points to her phone. The nurse nods then quickly goes back to Margie’s side.</p><p>                “So when I came home tonight from the hospital, and I was half expecting to see Spike on the kitchen table.”</p><p>                “He wasn’t?”</p><p>                “No, so I didn’t bother looking for him cause I was sorta hoping he was still outside somewhere, but I went to shower, and I opened the door to our bathroom, and the mother fucker was sitting on the toilet, shitting on our toilet. He hissed at me, and I ran the fuck out of there.”</p><p>                “Spike is an iguana of many talents!”</p><p>                “Well, at least he is potty trained. At least that is something good about him.”</p><p>                “He is going to grow on you, baby. Just watch and see.”</p><p>                “He hisses every time he sees me. I feel like he knows in my soul iguanas are my weakness.”</p><p>                “Did you feed him when you got home?”</p><p>                “Hell no.”</p><p>                “Baby, you have to feed him. And he only takes the foot by hand, so whether you want to or not, you have to hand feed him. I have some alfalfa and butternut squash you can feed him and then finish it off by giving him some raspberries or watermelon.”</p><p>                “I really don’t wanna hand feed the dinosaur.”</p><p>                “Just don’t be scared.”</p><p>                “I broke my nose because of him.”</p><p>                “Eve really grow some balls. What’s the worst that can happen.”</p><p>                “I break my nose or worse.”</p><p>                “Well then, you end up in here with me, and I can kick crazy Margie out of my room and have a sexy ass woman as my roommate. And I can make her feel better by having fantastic sex with her.</p><p>                “Are you trying to get me to come there.”</p><p>“That’s the whole idea of sex Eve… coming. Really though, I will be here with you. Just call him, and he’ll come trotting over to you and give him the green stuff first then the squash.”</p><p>“Argh, you owe me so big, V.”</p><p>“I’ll make up for it tomorrow. Unless Spike causes another accident.”</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>Villanelle can hear Eve going into the fridge and grabbing the Tupperware labeled Spike and the carton or raspberries.</p><p>“How much do I give him.”</p><p>“The whole thing is fine. I can make more when I get home tomorrow.”</p><p>Eve sits down on the kitchen floor and yells out, “Spike, dinner time” She soon hears the nails scraping against the tiles floors in the kitchen. Eve begins to cringe when he comes near her.”</p><p>“Breathe, baby. He really isn’t that bad. Just let him come to you. Put your hand out and let him take it from you.”</p><p>Eve does as she is told, and Spike comes up to her and starts to eat from her hand. They continue the interaction until the squash and alfalfa are gone, and Eve moves to the raspberries. She grabs a handful and then sits back down. Spike does a circle and then comes back around, lying next to Eve’s hand, eating the raspberries out of her hand. When she is done, she hears a purr from Spike, and she gets up to clean up, and he starts to follow her around.</p><p>“See, I told you, all you needed to do was feed him, and you’d be his best friend.”</p><p>“Is he going to follow me everywhere now?”</p><p>“Only time will tell.”</p><p>                “I think I am going to shower really quick and then go to bed.”</p><p>                “you told me you would stay on the phone with me the whole night,” Villanelle replied</p><p>                “Yes, I know. It will be quick, and then I’m gonna cuddle up until you go to bed, then I’ll head to bed. “</p><p>                “So, I can listen to you shower?”</p><p>                “Eww, you are at the hospital sick, and you still can’t get your mind out of the gutter.”</p><p>                “What can I say? The thought of you naked does things to me, Eve.”</p><p>                “Shhh” comes from the next curtain over.</p><p>                “Ooo, I got in trouble,” replied Villanelle in a whisper. “To come to my defense, I did ask for a private room.”</p><p>                “Villanelle, behave.”</p><p>                Eve got in the shower and took a quick shower. She came back to the phone and heard soft snoring. So she got into bed. It was an odd sensation. It has been forever since Villanelle wasn’t in her bed, and she felt an emptiness next to her. She watched TV for a while and then turned off the light. She was just getting comfortable in bed and starting to trail into sleep when she felt something cold next to her bed. She screamed and ripped the covers off her and turned on the light.</p><p>                “God damnit, Spike! You damn near gave me a heart attack.”</p><p>                “Ahahahahahahahaha.” Eve heard from the phone. Then she heard the loudest sound on Villanelle’s end.</p><p>                “Villanelle did you just fart?</p><p>                “OMG, no, I swear that wasn’t me. Anyways if it was me, I’d have to go change my pants.”</p><p>                “Ewwww!”</p><p>                “You’re telling me. You have the phone as a barrier. Jesus, Margie! What the hell did you eat! You smell like cabbage!              Please come pick me up. I feel a thousand times better, and I just want to go home and be in bed with you. I cant take Margie’s stinking ass anymore. If you don’t come to pick me up, I’ll call a cab.”</p><p>                “Argh, seriously, it’s 4 in the morning. Cant, you want three hours, and I’ll pick you up then?”</p><p>                “And risk smelling like cabbage when you come here no way. Plus, I had this whole romantic situation planned for tonight and was all excited about it if you know what I mean. I haven’t thrown up at all since I got here. I swear I’m feeling a thousand times better.”</p><p>“Fine, ring your nurse, and if she says your fine to come home, I’ll drive down there and pick you up. But you owe me.</p><p>                “Bring toothpaste and a toothbrush.”</p><p>                Villanelle talked her way into getting an early discharge. Eve came and picked her up, and they were on their way home.</p><p>                “Thank you for staying on the phone with me.” She leaned in to kiss her.</p><p>                “Oh my god V. You smell. You smell like cabbage, are you sure it wasn’t you!?”</p><p>                “It wasn’t, I swear. You’re so mean to me, Eve!</p><p>                Villanelle puts her hand on Eve’s thing and moves it inwards.</p><p>                “Don’t do that unless you are planning to continue.”</p><p>                Villanelle undoes Eve’s pants as she is driving and puts her hand down the front of Eve’s pants.</p><p>                “Don’t crash, baby.” Villanelle whispers into Eve's ear. She then bites her earlobe and pulls down on it.  At a red light, Villanelle gets Eve to pull her pants down, and she goes down on her. Her head is down between Eve’s legs as Eve is driving home. Eve was well over the speed limit as she drove. She needed to get home before she crashed. Eve pulled in the driveway and threw the car in park just as Villanelle was causing her to go over the edge. Villanelle cleaned Eve up and then kissed Eve.</p><p>                “Well, that was memorable,” Eve said with a smile as she is pulling up her pants.</p><p>                When they go inside, Villanelle calls for Spike, but she doesn’t see him. She goes to search for him, but she finds him sitting on the bench in the foyer with his front paws on the piano. As if he had been playing a concerto while the women were out.</p><p>“Is he playing the piano?” Eve asked quizzically. </p><p>“See, he is better than a dog, he’s super talented,” Villanelle said, leaning down to pet the iguana.</p><p>                “He is growing on me, I give you that. Go shower, get that cabbage smell off you, and then when you are done, come join me in bed.”</p><p>                “It wasn’t me, Eve! I didn’t fart for the last time!”</p><p>                Villanelle goes in to take her shower, and when she comes back out, she is toweling her hair when she looks and sees a naked Eve in bed.</p><p>                “Argh, Eve, I am way too tired to have sex.”</p><p>                She gets into bed and turns away from Eve and turns her light off. Eve jaw drops. Never in their time together had Villanelle ever turned down sex.</p><p>                “Just kidding,” Villanelle says as she jumps on top of Eve, pinning her down to the mattress.</p><p>                “I was gonna say maybe I should take you to the mental institution instead.”</p><p>                It had been hours after the women went to bed, and Villanelle had awoken to a sensation on her neck.</p><p>                “Eve, that is new. When did you learn to do that.” Villanelle said as she laid in bed.</p><p>                “What, babe?” Eve called from the bathroom.</p><p>                “Fuck! Spike! Out!” Villanelle jumped from the bed, calling out as the iguana trotted out the door. “We need to close the doors.” She said as she took Eve back in bed.</p><p>               </p><p>               </p><p>               </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading and any kudos, comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Mistaken Identity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eve and Villanelle revisit the London Bridge after a year. Do they make the same choice?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning came too soon for the lovers. They had spent the night as they always do. They would start with a movie and get forty minutes into it before Villanelle’s hands, eyes, or mouth started to wander. Villanelle woke up the next morning. She was surprised when she felt a weight in the bed next to her. Eve should have been off to work by now. She opened her eyes, and when she did, she was face to face with Spike. He looked at her and then licked her.</p><p>            “Spike! Gross! I can see why Eve has contempt for you. Lucky for you, I love you. Let’s go. I have a lot to do today. My amazon packages are arriving, and everything needs to be perfect for Eve by the time she gets home.” </p><p>Villanelle wanted to surprise Eve since they got engaged, it seemed like one thing after another came up with the last being Villanelle's hospitalization. That night Villanelle was going to make a proper proposal to Eve. When she was in Florida, she planned to propose in style, but it seemed like mother nature was against the twosome. Then she wanted to recreate the experience where she made their backyard into a beach retreat. However, then she came down with the stomach flu. Plus, that was the night that she surprised Eve with Spike, their adorably mischievous pet iguana.</p><p>It was as if Spike understood what Villanelle was saying. He jumped off the bed and headed towards the door.  </p><p>Leave it to Villanelle to find a unique pet, she could not have just a dog or a cat, but she had to go with a reptile and a rather large one. When she approached the owner of the shanty about Spike, she had told Villanelle that she had been trying to get the reptile out of the home for years. So in lieu of a bad review, she would ship the reptile to Villanelle free of cost. Villanelle was ecstatic. She felt like Spike was destined to be hers.</p><p> Villanelle was finishing making dinner when Eve walked into the kitchen. Eve went up to her fiancé and kissed her.</p><p>            “Smells great.”</p><p>            “Of course, it does! I made it. If it had been you, the smoke detector would be going off as we speak.”  Villanelle said as she kissed the corner of Eve’s mouth.</p><p> “Go change, get comfortable. By the time you are done, dinner should be ready. I’ll be outside waiting for you.”</p><p>Villanelle slid through the glass door to their back yard. She poured the red wine into glasses and then brought the food out. She loved their backyard. They were facing the west so they could see the sunset from their backyard, which was one of the couple’s favorite activities. Villanelle had been sitting in her chair, looking out when she felt a hand come from around behind her. She grabbed the hand and gave it a kiss.</p><p>            “What's the special occasion?”</p><p>            “Why does there need to be a special occasion. We have this beautiful backyard, and I don’t think that we utilize it nearly as much as we should.”</p><p>            “Well, it is a beautiful space.”</p><p>Eve sat down and smiled at Villanelle.</p><p>            “I love that we can do this now. Could you imagine us doing this a couple of years ago?”</p><p>            “Honestly, it wasn’t even on my radar,” Eve replied</p><p>Villanelle sat in her seat, looking at Eve and playing with the engagement ring that had been in her pocket since before they left for Florida.</p><p>            “I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that we were going to be something great.”</p><p>The women had finished their dinner, and after cleaning up, Villanelle and Eve had decided to go on a walk. They took Spike with them. Spike was wearing the harness that Villanelle recently bought, and she applied the leash to it. Eve and Villanelle strutted down the sidewalk until they reached the London Bridge.</p><p>“God, it’s been a while since I have walked on this bridge. It seems like a lifetime ago.” Eve commented.</p><p>“It’s only been a year, Eve.”</p><p>“True, but so much has happened since then. You took down the Twelve. We bought a house together, have “normalish” jobs, we even have dear old Spike.”</p><p>“He’s a great pet,” Villanelle smiles.</p><p>“I wouldn’t go that far," Eve mumbles. As if on cue, Spike looks over at Eve and hisses, sticking his tongue out at her.</p><p>            “Turn around, Eve. Like we did a year ago.”</p><p>Eve does as she is told. She turns around and grabs Villanelle’s hands.</p><p>            “I’m giving you one last chance.”</p><p>            “Villanelle.”</p><p>            “Shh, on the count of three. You can walk away if you want. . I won’t hold it against you.”</p><p>            “Are you having second thoughts, Villanelle?” Eve says with tears in her eyes.</p><p>Eve felt the exact same anxiety that she did a year ago.  She felt Villanelle’s body heat against her. Villanelles head dipping against hers.</p><p>            “1. Eve, I love you, and I will always love you no matter what happens.”</p><p>Eve’s heart sank. What was happening? She felt Spike rub up against her leg. Is this it? Did Villanelle bring her here to finish things? She looked down. She can’t lose this dinosaur she's fallen in love with on top of everything.</p><p>            “2.”</p><p>            “I love you, Villanelle.”</p><p>            “3.”</p><p>Eve immediately felt the loss of Villanelle’s body heat. Eve hung her head and tried to figure out what happened between them. She replayed every argument, every disagreement in her head. She turned around and expected to see the love of her life, heading away from her on the bridge. She was surprised when she looked down and saw Villanelle on one knee holding an engagement ring.</p><p>            “The best decision that I have ever made in my life was turning around on that bridge. You are my life, my love, my forever. I never ever thought that I would get married.”</p><p>            “Maria…” Eve said</p><p>            “Shh… I’m proposing Eve, plus I didn’t marry Maria, that was Marta Poslovina. Anyways, as I was saying, I want to grow old with you. I want to see you get grey and me stay blonde. I want to sit and watch movies with you. I want to have amazing, mind-blowing sex with you. I want to have a kid or two with you. I want so many things with you, Eve. You are my Bert to my Ernie. Please marry me!”</p><p>            “Villanelle… you’re an asshole. I thought you were breaking up with me. You have been acting so strange today I knew something was happening.”</p><p>            “You didn’t answer my question, Eve, and I only like being on my knees when I’m between your legs.”</p><p>            “Classy V, of course, I will marry you.”</p><p>            Villanelle went to put the ring on Eve’s finger, and when she did, her butterfingers dropped the ring. The ring clattered along the sidewalk, getting ever closer to the opening of the bridge.</p><p>            “Fuck, no!” Villanelle said as she scrambled to get the ring.</p><p>Just as the ring circled around the crack Spike and his tongue snatched the ring out of thin air. Villanelle went to retrieve the ring from Spike when she saw that he swallowed. Spike then gave the women a smile as if he was teasing them.</p><p>            “No, Spike!”</p><p>Eve broke out in laughter, almost doubling over from the cackles of joy escaping her lips.</p><p>            “It isn’t funny, Eve. That was an expensive ring, and I was nervous and sweaty. Really, it's not my fault. It flew from my hand.”</p><p>            “Baby, it’s fitting, it is like the universe is against us. Look at Florida, and now this is just another hurdle.”</p><p>            “I actually never thought of it like that. I think we need to go to the Vet to see what we should do.”</p><p>They arrive at the Vet and as they walked in, the jaws of many of the patrons hung open. Eve saw Elena at the Vet. As Villanelle was signing Spike in, Eve went and gave Elena a hug then sat next to her.</p><p>            “Eve! It's been soo long.”</p><p>            “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in like three years.”</p><p>            “Things are going well. I just adopted two kittens, Theo and Sweet Pea.” Elena pulls her phone out and shows Eve.</p><p>            “They are adorable!”</p><p>            “I see you got the girl and omg, Eve! Is that a dinosaur?”</p><p>            “That is Spike, it’s a long story on how we got him.”</p><p>            “Are you happy, Eve?”</p><p>            “Very, she makes me feel things I never felt. She literally just proposed to me on London Bridge and dropped the ring when Spike decided to eat it.”</p><p>Elena chuckled. “You guys really have come a long way.”</p><p>“We have,” Eve said as she smiled, looking over at V and Spike.</p><p>V looks over and smiles back. Spike hisses and sticks out his tongue.</p><p>“I’m delighted you are finally happy, Eve!”</p><p>The Vet calls back Spike, and the women go back. Villanelle tells the whole story about what had happened. The Vet laughed and then proceeded to wish the women congratulations. When he started to do his exam, Spike hissed. Villanelle had gone over to settle him, but the only person who Spike wanted around him was Eve. So, Eve went over next to him and softly cuddled him when the Vet examined him. The Vet started to laugh.</p><p>            “So how set are you guys with the name Spike.”</p><p>            “Pretty set. Why do you ask?” Villanelle asked</p><p>            “Well, he is actually she.”</p><p>            “Spike’s a girl?” Eve asked.</p><p>            “Yes, she is. So, what I suggest is that we get an x-ray, it will tell us if there is an obstruction. I don’t think that there is one, but better to be safe than sorry. Barring any complications, she should poop the ring out in a couple of days.”</p><p>Eve looks over at Villanelle.</p><p>            “Looks like you are going through her poop.”</p><p>            “That’s just shitty, Eve.” Hahahahahaha</p><p>On the way, home Villanelle is holding Spike.</p><p>            “Do you think we should change her name to something more feminine?” Villanelle asks</p><p>            “Honestly, I think that we should just keep it. We know her as Spike, and that what it should still be.”</p><p>            “I completely agree,” Villanelle says. She gives Eve a kiss.</p><p>When they get home, Villanelle lets Spike down, and she pulls Eve upstairs.</p><p>            “Eve, I have a solution for out Spike issue.”</p><p>            “Sending her back to Florida?”</p><p>            “Eve! I could never. She is like a daughter to me.”</p><p>            “Fine, I see this is a losing battle. So then what is your solution then?”</p><p>            “So, don’t be mad…”</p><p>            “Villanelle? What did you do?</p><p>Villanelle opened the door to the spare bedroom, and when she opened it, Spike scurried into her habitat, taking her rest under one of the heat lamps.</p><p>            “I figured that she needed her own space.”</p><p>Eve looks at the room in amazement. She pulls Villanelle into a tight embrace. Pulling her lips closer to her.</p><p>            “I love you, babe. You are so kind and considerate. Spike is lucky to have you as her mom. When I was younger, I wanted kids, and then when I was with Niko, he said he didn’t want any, so I made it, so I didn’t want any. But the way that you are with her. Seeing you take care of her and taking care of me, I know when the time comes, you are going to be an amazing mother. Maybe one that is a little overprotective but a good one.”</p><p>            “Our daughter will not be allowed to date until she is 30!”</p><p>            “Easy there, killer.”</p><p>Villanelle kisses Eve,</p><p>            “How about we practice making a baby,” Villanelle asks softly.</p><p>            “How fast can you get to the room?”</p><p>Villanelle hip checks Eve and starts to run.</p><p>            “The last one to the bedroom puts Spike to bed!”</p><p>Eve shuts the door, saying good night to Spike after yelling, “I’m glad you’re doing better. Have a good night and sleep tight!"</p><p>When Eve enters the bedroom, she finds Villanelle jumping on the bed naked.</p><p>            “Come on, Eve! Join me!”</p><p>            “Villanelle, stop jumping on the bed before you break it.”</p><p>            “This is not how we are going to break the bed tonight. I have big plans for us.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy the Spike Saga</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone. As always thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read this. </p><p>I appreciate all comments, suggestions and kudos. I hope you enjoy!</p><p> </p><p>Feel free to add me on Twitter @ghost_writer_84  or Tumblr ghostwriter1984.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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